Who buys this stuff?

I am glad you are reading this blog, in spite of the fact that it was probably hidden between 47 other e-mails from every department store and catalog company in the United States and beyond.  I open my e-mail account with fear and trepidation these days half expecting to see the number unread to exceed 100.  I am amazed at the items that can be purchased during the holiday season.  Who buys this stuff and to whom do they plan to give it?  Surely they can’t consider Sudoku toilet paper to be an appropriate gift!

I ran across one website that is entirely devoted to things which can be described as “unusual” gifts.  I would give you the name except there was just too much stuff that would be considered in “poor taste” – at the very least!

Having perused the bonanza of possible gifts I have made a list of all of the things that I don’t want to find in my stocking or under the tree.  They are as follows:  A) A bacon ornament. Does it just look like a piece of bacon or is there a “fragrance” as well.  (Imagine what a dog would do to the Christmas tree!)  B) Egg Nog soap.  I guess that is supposed to evoke a holiday spirit!  C) A yodeling pickle.  And it’s probably not LeAnn Rimes doing the yodeling.  D) A Monkey Nail Dryer – this was actually kind of clever.  The monkey blows air on your wet nail polish.  The problem is you actually have to stand in front of that monkey trying not to feel too foolish as your family walks by.  Actually, it would probably fit into our family dynamic.  E) A motorized ice cream cone.  Instructions:  Drive through the line at DQ and purchase a soft serve cone.  Insert said cone into this contraption.  Then you hit the “on switch” and just hold your tongue out because the machine turns the cone for you.  I’m not sure if the sin for this would be gluttony or sloth.  I guess it depends on whether you purchase the large, medium or small cone.  F) I would not like either of the following action figures: Marie Antoinette (her head shoots off the top of her body) or the Lunch Lady (she comes with the standard lunch tray and school cafeteria counter).   G) The word search shower curtain.  We have a serious water shortage here in Texas.  H) And because I am somewhat sensitive about my culinary abilities…I don’t want the inflatable fruitcake or turkey.  (I can almost hear the comments on the similarities in flavor…)

Now that you have received the LONG list of what I don’t want…here is what I would like.  A) For all of you to find those who don’t have enough this Christmas, and give them something they need.  B) For all of you to encounter the baby of Christmas who is now seated at the right hand of God…and truly worship him.  C) I would like for every Christian to speak up when you are wished a happy holiday and say, “It is happy…it’s Christmas!”  D) And finally, I would like for all of you to pass along this blog…so I can introduce people to my Lord, the Christ of Christmas.  Have a blessed day!

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