Masked blessings

I have to confess, sometimes I’m a prayer whiner. Admittedly, things have to get pretty tough before I slip into the “whine mode,” but it happens.

I’m supposed to be on a fun girl’s trip this week, but I decided to stay close to home. (And I promise. . .I won’t use this blog post to whine about that—at least not anymore.)

I was almost home from a glorious walk watching the beautiful sunrise through the tall East Texas trees, and I almost missed my blessing. I was still whining to God when I passed a neighbor’s home with cute Halloween characters in the front yard. His quiet answer to my self-centered, immature prayers caught me off guard. 

Sometimes, life sends us into toddler mode spiritually. Our loving Father puts up with our whining, but only for a time. He’d rather bless us instead.

The cute Halloween display

Generally, I’m not a fan of Halloween. I decorate for fall, but my decor reflects the season instead of that holiday. That’s why the display caught my eye and surprised me. I actually liked it. I wouldn’t usually enjoy a Halloween display, but this little grouping of witches, each dressed in cute little dresses and masks, made me smile. Why would I write about that? Because in that moment, God taught me something about my prayers.

Sometimes our blessings wear masks, too.

I have good reasons to whine, but no excuse

Here is a quick list of the reasons I was whining.

  • I missed a fun girls’ trip.
  • Most of my adult life has included the responsibility of taking care of an aging or dying parent. First, Jim’s mom. Then my dad. Now, my mom.
  • I’ve missed trips, vacations, sporting events, and other moments that felt important to me.
  • Craig, my youngest son, was going into kindergarten when Jim’s mom got cancer for the first time. She was diagnosed and treated for cancer twice more after that. 
  • Two years after Jim’s mom passed, Craig was planning his wedding when my mom called to say they were moving to Dallas to be nearby. She needed help with my dad. After my dad died, my mom began to decline and needed help. Now, a decade later, my mom is entering her last days.

I was whining to God about how much time I have spent going to doctors, paying bills, handling funeral arrangements, closing out estates, etc., etc., etc. Then, I passed a Halloween display that made me smile. Why?

The Halloween display stopped my whining, and God was able to insert his answer into my prayers. I looked at those cute little witches and heard, “You have no reason to whine. Those moments are your blessings.” As with all the “God thoughts,” I knew it was truth the second I heard that quiet, very clear God voice within.

I knew but needed to remember and rely on the truth of God’s answer to my prayers. I finished my walk thinking about how Satan loves to put a “mask” over God’s truth, especially the truth about the hard times in our lives. Sometimes, we have to quit whining long enough to allow God to get his word in edgewise!

We all have reasons to whine when we pray. Spiritually, though, we don’t have an excuse because of God’s word to us. Every reason that causes us to pray will be redeemed as our blessing.

God would rather bless our prayers than just listen to them

God’s voice is a blessing that too often gets masked by the world’s messaging. There are some tough times right now. I’m slowly losing my mom. A LOT of people have lost their homes, a family member, their jobs, their pets, their finances, and almost everything they had come to value in their lives because of a hurricane. They have so many reasons to whine to God, but spiritually, there is no excuse. Why is that?

God understands our struggles and hears us every time we cry out to him in pain, exhaustion, fear, anger, and grief. But God would rather heal us than just hear us. He wants to bless our prayers with his answers. 

Do we spend more time telling God what we think, feel, and need than listening for him to give us what we need? Some thoughts about prayer:

  • Our whining isn’t necessary, but his answer is. “Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear” (Isaiah 65:24). God already knows what to do and how to direct your life toward his answers.
  • Our circumstances may feel too difficult to endure, but they aren’t. “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). If God allowed it, you are equipped and able to handle it with his help.
  • Every difficult time is an opportunity to help people know God and give him glory. “And call upon me in the day of trouble; I will deliver you, and you shall glorify me” (Psalm 50:15). People are watching, and you can show them God’s amazing grace.
  • God will hear us, help us, and bless us throughout our trials. “Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:16). You will also receive God’s amazing grace when you ask.

Unmask your blessings

I rediscovered Psalm 66 as I was putting together this blog post. That psalm is the eternal truth we all need for life on this side of heaven. It is a psalm of praise for God’s compassionate character, especially his care and compassion for us during the tough times.

The psalmist gives some crucial advice toward the end. He wrote, “If I had cherished iniquity in my heart, the Lord would not have listened. But truly God has listened; he has attended to the voice of my prayer” (Psalm 66:18–19). 

I wouldn’t have heard God’s voice if I hadn’t stopped whining to him. If I had “cherished” my self-centered thoughts, I wouldn’t have been reminded of my blessings. God attended to the voice of my prayer by giving me new thoughts that unmasked his truth. 

What has God said to you as you read this blog post? What prayers do you need to pray, and what prayers do you need to re-pray with a new perspective? Choose to spend more time listening than talking. God already knows what you want, need, and hope for. Will you allow him to get a word in edgewise? I hope his answers will make all of you smile, too!

One Day, Two Stories, No Words

I received an email telling me that the horrific story I had listened to on the morning news had happened to a family I knew. I had been praying for the people involved, not knowing one of them was a woman I teach in Bible study.

Sometimes evil has a face.

My friend’s family was impacted by evil personified. Her niece, a twenty-two-year-old woman who had recently graduated from college, was kidnapped, robbed, attacked, and then violently murdered. The attack was recorded on a nearby camera, and it was truly horrific. 

My friend’s grief is compounded by the darkness that surrounds her niece’s death. 

Thankfully, the man was quickly arrested. A jury might allow him to live, but I can’t imagine he will ever be set free.

Sometimes grief has no one to blame.

That night, the first story in the news was my friend’s nightmare, and the last story of the evening was about a different kind of nightmare.

Babe Laufenberg is a favorite sports broadcaster here in Dallas. His son had hoped to play football in college this fall. Instead, the news ended with a report that Luke Laufenberg, aged twenty-one, had died of cancer. 

The entire sports broadcast was devoted to what a fine young man he had been and what a hero he was to the people who knew him. Jason Garrett, coach of the Dallas Cowboys, could barely complete his interview. He was grieving for his friends. 

Sometimes grief is the result of living in this imperfect world. Bad things happen, indiscriminately, and no one is to blame. 

We want heaven’s promises now—but this world will never be heaven. 

Is there really help for the horrible?

It was one day and two incredibly sad stories. Two young people, two families, and crowds of people who wish they had words to help.  

What can we say or do when people experience their worst moments of life? 

Are there words for the impossible moments of grief that life inevitably brings? 

Every life is different, but no life is spared loss. 

What can we say, do, and offer that will help in the worst moments of grief?  

I’m not a trained psychologist, but I have shared the journey of grief with a lot of people throughout our years of ministry. There are some powerful verses from the Psalms that I believe apply to moments of grief. 

Words—even the truth of Scripture—don’t end our grief, but they can offer some help we need for it. God provided us these Psalms. There is truth he wants us to know and give to others.

God is near.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” 

Many grieving people talk about feeling numb. That numbness feels wrong or worrisome to most of them, but what if that numbness is a gift of God’s presence? 

We use anesthesia to keep a person from fully experiencing pain. Everyone has different experiences, but almost all experience the numbness. 

I’ve often wondered if that was God’s nearness to them in their pain. What if God’s Presence, his nearness, grants a numbness that is simply his blessing for the crushed spirit? 

Anesthesia is only for a limited time. Eventually, there is the pain involved in getting to our feet. 

God is there for that as well. 

God won’t let you fall.

Psalm 55:22 says, “Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.” 

Some translations say, “He will never let the righteous fall.” 

When the world has moved forward, people remain in their grief. It hurts to walk again. Rehab is hard. People know they need to try because professionals, friends, and loved ones tell them to try. 

But no one else has to feel the pain and loneliness of the grieving person’s steps.  

I think God would say, “Here is my arm. Grab on. It’s just us now, and this will hurt, but I won’t let you fall.” 

God guides us through the tunnels of this life, and some are incredibly long, dark, and lonely. But, the only failure is letting go of the arm that knows the way through the darkness. 

Grief is a tunnel, not a cave. As surely as there was a beginning, there is an end. You will emerge in a new place, but you will always know it is the place God brought you. 

There will be joy.

Psalm 30:5 says, “His favor is for a lifetime. Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning.” 

Grieving people will never feel “happy” about their loss. The psalmist doesn’t say they will. It’s joy that comes in the morning. 

This psalm was written about God’s anger not lasting, but the rest of the psalm offers great truth about God’s help. What does this psalm teach us about the Creator of the universe and the way he cares for his people? What does this psalm teach about God’s care for the grieving?  

God’s favor lasts for a lifetime. 

He will continue to show his favor, even as the grief subsides and invariably returns again. 

God’s gift to the grieving person isn’t about happy circumstances. It is something greater and more complete. Joy is the incomprehensible peace and contentment that transcends our happiness—and our grief. 

The night may be longer than you would wish, but morning will come. It always does. There will be joy in the morning.

Even when God is barely enough—He is still enough.

When God calls you to minister to a person who is grieving, it is important to realize that he doesn’t want you to minister. He wants to minister through you. 

The reason you have no words is that you have no words. Only God has those words. You don’t know what to say, and it might be best to remain still until you have prayed and asked God to speak through you. 

And, often, it is just about bringing his Holy Presence into the room. 

If you are a Christian, Jesus enters the room with you. That’s why so many grieving people will say, “I don’t remember what you said . . . I just know you were there.” 

Your words might not matter, but allowing Jesus to minister through you will matter—eternally. 

Again, we don’t choose that job; we just obey if he chooses us. Every Christian should pray. 

God honors the prayers of his people and there are two families that need prayer. So, together we pray: 

Holy Father, bring people to these families who will bring you into the room. And God, if it is one of us, may we be your hands and your love and speak only your words—through the power of your Spirit and for the glory of Christ. It’s in his name we pray, amen.