Where were you that day?

I dropped my sons off at school and was back home, cleaning my kitchen. I chose to watch Good Morning America for some company but quickly noticed something big had happened. 

I walked over to the back of the sofa with a dish towel in my hands so I could see the television better. The show had switched to a live broadcast, and the two commentators were trying their best to fill the airtime with conversation. 

No one understood yet what the fire meant. 

About that time, I saw the airplane fly into the second tower, and I knew we were in trouble. 

I ran to the phone, called Jim at the church, and told him to turn the television on.

Another plane crashed into the Pentagon and then another, near Philadelphia. 

What did you do that morning? 

I tried to call my folks and then remembered that my parents were in Philadelphia that day, on vacation. They didn’t own a cell phone, and I didn’t know where they were staying. I felt sure they would be fine, but I couldn’t be certain. 

I wondered when my boys would hear the news. I remember wanting to drive up to the school and bring them home. I also remember telling myself that would be the wrong thing to do—so I stayed home, glued to the television, wishing the school would call. 

I watched the news for the next couple of hours until I couldn’t watch any longer. 

I didn’t know what else to do. I just knew I needed something else to do. So, I filled my car up with gas. I went to the bank and withdrew some cash. I went to Sams and bought plenty of canned protein, fruit, and water. I remember the hushed lines, the worried looks, and the uncertainty of those hours. 

Doing those things didn’t alleviate my fears, but they refocused my thoughts for a little while. 

What were you most afraid of? 

9/11 was a day of uncertainty. There were a lot of reasons to feel afraid, angry, concerned, powerless, and deeply sad. 

But, the strongest memory I have of 9/11 was my first and greatest fear of the day. 

I watched the plane fly into the second tower and was overwhelmed with the thought that I had two teenage sons and our country might be at war. I didn’t know what the news that day would mean to our family in the future. 

There were other thoughts, but none more consuming than that one. 

What did you pray for? 

I stood behind my sofa, wringing the dish towel in my hands and begging God to stop our enemies. I prayed for God to protect us and give wisdom to our leaders. And I pled with God to protect my family. 

As the days moved forward, I prayed hundreds of prayers. But, I don’t think any of those prayers were offered with the same intensity of those first moments. 

I begged God for his divine protection on 9/11. I was truly afraid for the future. 

What did you learn? 

God never stops teaching us. God never stops caring. God is always in control and at work remodeling the moments of this life for his greater good. 

But, God takes his time. 

We all wanted answers, but sometimes there was only information. 

We all wanted peace, but all these years later, we are still at war. 

We all wanted miracles, be we didn’t get all the miracles we wanted. 

We all wanted the Bible verses to comfort, but sometimes reading those verses disappointed instead. 

Did you wonder what God was doing on 9/11? 

I learned something about God during those days, weeks, and months of uncertainty. That lesson has been one of the most valuable spiritual lessons of my life. I struggled to trust a verse, so I learned to pray it instead. 

Those prayer times with God gave me comfort. Knowing the verse was only the first step. It was praying the verse that made the difference. That lesson has changed and strengthened my spiritual life more than I can say, mostly because it was a lesson I thought I already knew. 

Truthfully, I didn’t really learn it until I lived it. 

My life verse for fear 

If you have read my blog for a while, you know I sometimes refer to a “life verse.” Most of the time, I call it a life verse because it changed my life. 

I will probably always watch the videos of 9/11 with tears in my eyes. I feel those news reports. But, the Lord retaught me a verse during that time, and I have carried his lesson ever since. 

The verse I prayed and learned to obey because of 9/11 is the life verse that carried me through my son Ryan’s cancer—and I truly mean the word carried. 

Psalm 56:3 says, “When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.” 

  • This verse says “when” not “if.” Fear is part of living on this side of heaven. We will all live with fears, but there is something all of us can do.
  • The action words are “I put.” Fears involve our free wills, our right to choose. I don’t really ask God to “take my fears away” anymore. I believe the Lord has instructed us to make a choice when we are afraid. God asks us to put our fears down, at his feet, and back away. He won’t “take” them because we are supposed to give them.
  • We try to control our fears, but that is the opposite of what God intends. He wants us to trust him enough to put them down and step away from them. When Jesus said, “Do not fear” (Matthew 10:26, 28), he said it as a command. Our best choice is to obey Psalm 56:3.
  • Knowing this verse won’t calm your fears as much as praying and obeying its words. It is obedience to knowledge that makes all the difference. 

When you are afraid . . . 

Are we waiting for the next 9/11? Maybe. 

Are we waiting for the next senseless shooting? Yes. 

Are we waiting for the next hurricane? Yes. 

Are we waiting for the doctor to call? Someday. 

The best time to get ready for moments of fear is before those fears come. 

Do you really believe God’s instruction in Psalm 56:3? 

You will know it the next time you are truly afraid. For now, pray that verse until you know and trust the words. Then, when the “when” happens—make your choice. 

For now, make your commitment: “When I am afraid, I will put my trust in you.” 

I hope that verse will change your life too.

When Fear is Real and Reasonable

Sometimes evil has a face and a name.

What kind of person grabs a little girl off the street, from her mother’s hand, and takes her somewhere to abuse her?

But that happened in Fort Worth, Texas. Thankfully, some heroic citizens worked with police and the little girl was found and rescued.

She is safe today, but will she and her family ever feel safe again?

I didn’t want to write about this story because everything about it is sad and dark. But her rescue has been described as a miracle. I wrestled with this blog post, not wanting to think about this story, but knowing that a miracle should be discussed.

The rescue was a miracle, but healing will require a choice.

Most of the time when Christians write about fear, the spiritual lesson is “fear not.” Jesus often told his disciples not to be afraid, even when they had every right to feel fear. He taught them not to worry because God loves them.

But how could that mom feel anything but fear as that car drove off with her little girl inside? How will she ever not worry? She was just walking down the street, holding her daughter’s hand—and evil succeeded.

For that matter, how do we not worry when our fears are both real and reasonable?

Does God ask the impossible of us?

The simple answer is yes.

The spiritual answer is found in:

  • Luke 1:37: Mary said, “For nothing will be impossible with God.”
  • Matthew 19:26: Jesus told his disciples, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
  • Philippians 4:13: Paul said, “I can do all things through him who strengthens me.”

It seems like God has asked Christians to walk through this world with enough faith to believe the impossible is possible.

Is “fearlessness” too much for God to ask?

The impossible is impossible for us, not God.

There is a mom in Fort Worth whose life has been permanently changed. She has known fear at a level most of us will never experience. That said, all of us will experience real and reasonable fears. Everyone will face the impossible choice that Jesus called us to make when he commanded us to “fear not.”

The only choice we will have in our moments of very real, very reasonable fear, is to know that the impossible is only possible with God. The only answer to some fear is knowing God “can” because we also know we “can’t.” It isn’t possible for human beings to live without fear. It is possible for human beings to trust God is bigger than whatever we are afraid of.

A lot of our fears are real and reasonable. Evil exists. Bad things happen. We know that God can protect, but we also know that sometimes his choice is to walk us through the pain or fear, rather than remove it.

Is it possible to trust that God will be enough for our real and reasonable fears?

Jesus, help our unbelief.

Jesus sent his disciples out to do ministry in his name. They encountered a man whose son was possessed by an evil spirit. The disciples tried to cast out the demon but weren’t able. When Jesus walked into the situation, he told the son’s father to bring the boy to him.

The father had been disappointed by the disciples but handed his son to Jesus, saying, “If you can do anything, have compassion on us and help us” (Mark 9:22). Jesus reacted to the man’s words, saying, “‘If you can!’ All things are possible for one who believes” (v. 23).

Everything in me relates to the father in this story and not to Jesus.

As I write this blog, a wonderful friend and mom is admitting her cancer will win and she will soon go to heaven. Both she and her kids seem too young for this to be happening.

A man we know needs a new heart to live, but he will need to wait to see if a heart will become available.

And a Fort Worth mom in the news will bring her little girl home from the hospital with physical healing, but recovery from her emotional pain will be more difficult.

I know that many people who will read these words have similar stories of their own.

I hope all of us will remember the words the possessed boy’s father prayed. He looked at Jesus and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 19:24). The Lord understands our struggle but wants us to trust him anyway.

My favorite prayer for real and reasonable fears

David understood fear. King Saul, and many others, wanted him dead. David wrote these words in Psalm 56 that I have found comfort in praying when I face real and reasonable fear. David wrote:

Be gracious to me, O God, for man tramples on me;
all day long an attacker oppresses me;
my enemies trample on me all day long, for many attack me proudly.
When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.
In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can flesh do to me?
(Psalm 56:1–4)

It is when, not if, even for the faithful.

It is impossible to walk through this life without fear because fear is a reasonable response for any human being.

That said, when we are afraid, there is something to do. We need to continually and faithfully decide what we are going to do with our fear. Some fear is real and reasonable, but we can ask God to do the impossible and give us the strength and peace to survive even our greatest fears.

When evil is real, we will have to trust that God is real too. When fears are defined by a doctor or a set of circumstances, our choice is defined by God. When we are afraid, we need to be like David and understand that God is larger and stronger than anything that can attack our earthly lives. We can trust God to handle what we can’t.

Some fears are impossibly difficult for us, and it is difficult to believe our faith is sufficient. God understands. And Jesus promised us that we don’t have to fear. Jesus stepped out of his grave and proved Christians will too. So, we can pray the words of that father, saying, “I believe. Help my unbelief.” We can echo King David’s words: “I shall not be afraid. What can flesh do to me?”

We can believe that, with God, even the impossible is possible for our greatest fears.

A little girl was hurt, but she was also saved. The two people I know who desperately want to continue their earthly lives also know they will live eternally in heaven. Fear and pain are real and reasonable, but so is our faith.

When you are afraid, trust in God. He is as real as your fear, and many years of ministry have taught me that God is enough for all the real things that happen in this world. And God’s promise can be trusted for all the real joys that will reward our faith.

Lord, we believe; help our unbelief.

Anna’s Thoughts on Flight 1380

Anna was watching a movie on Southwest Airlines Flight 1380 when the engine blew out. The next twenty-two minutes were filled with sounds and experiences she will always remember. Anna is twenty-three years old and has a lot to teach all of us. If you had to consider the end of your life, and all that truly matters, who and what would you think about?

Anna’s mom, Linda, is in my Thursday Bible study and we have known each other for a lot of years. Our sons were in high school band together and played in their own band, The Review, for a couple of those years. Linda was our real estate agent, and blessing, when Jim and I bought our home. So, I was shocked when I saw the Facebook post about her youngest daughter, Anna, who was on the ill-fated Southwest Flight 1380.

Anna wrote an essay about her experience. What does a twenty-three-year old think about when she is wearing an oxygen mask on a plane that appears to be crashing? Her thoughts have a lot to say to all of us today. The things that matter most in those moments are the things that matter most right now. Here are Anna’s thoughts, in her words:

My mom’s face, and how she would cry when she found out I had died.
How my baby nephew wouldn’t remember Aunt Anna.
How my family would cope with the loss of their littlest.
If a plane crash would hurt, or have immediate effects.
If I would be received in Heaven with my God, or otherwise.
I thought of my friends attending my funeral.
If there was a chance someone could survive a plane crash.
If we could land on water somewhere, knowing we weren’t far from New York.
Young, young, we’re so young.
Take me to your glory, take me to your glory.

Family. Friends. Faith. Life. Eternal life.

The plane was surrounded by clouds for most of its descent and Anna said the “white noise” of the engines was deafening. But then came the moment when the plane cleared those clouds.  Anna described those moments like this:

Seeing the earth was a comfort. There was not a feeling of landing assurance really, but I think just getting to see your home one last time was somehow significant. Once we got closer to the ground, I looked out the window and saw water and started to cry. In my mind, we had reached a river and were going to land on it, Sully style. The flight attendants began screaming “Brace” and then a crew member came onto the overhead speaker, yelling “heads down, stay down” on repeat. I braced and braced and wondered if there was a better way I should be positioning my feet and if I should bend my legs or keep them straight or hold Connor’s hand or just keep looking at his feet. I didn’t feel a thing and then I heard cheers. When I looked up and saw that we had LANDED- ON THE GROUND- AT AN AIRPORT- I was absolutely overcome with the most blatant and undeserved gratitude and joy. There will never be a joy that will match that. I began sobbing very uncontrollably and unashamedly. I remember repeating over and over again “we don’t deserve it, we don’t deserve it”.

Anna and her friend Connor

I read Anna’s words with my own tears of gratitude. A woman lost her life on that flight and I would never want us to forget there is a family who is grieving today. At the same time, there are hundreds of families that are living with a new sense of gratitude for life.

A lot has been said about Tammie Jo Shults, the navy veteran pilot that landed the plane. She is being called a hero who walked the aisle of that plane after it landed, comforting the passengers with smiles and hugs. The crew keeps speaking about her “calm” in those moments. I’m waiting to read the article or book she will write someday. We know that after landing the plane she sent this text to her friend and fellow navy pilot: “God is good.”

God is good. He heard the cries of a twenty-three-year old girl who needed his promise of heaven. I imagine God listening to the prayers of the pilot who felt responsible for each of those lives on the plane and the prayers of other passengers of faith. And I know God was pleased with Anna’s priorities as the plane was descending. Family. Friends. Faith. Life. Eternal life. The matters that matter most.

None of us will probably ever experience what Anna and the others on that plane felt during those life-changing twenty-two minutes. But all of us will need to ask Anna’s question: Will we be received in heaven with God, or otherwise? There is no reason to live another day on earth without knowing your answer.

Romans 10:10 says, “For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved.” Acts 16:31 says, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.”  Salvation is God’s gift of grace, purchased for us through the death of his Son, and available to anyone who chooses to receive it in faith.

Statistically, only a very small number of people will die in a plane crash and statistically, everyone will die someday. Statistically, not nearly enough of us understand what Anna understood as the plane was crashing. At the end of our lives we want to say, “Take me to your glory. Take me to your glory.”

The pilot texted, “God is good.” Anna wrote, “There is no way I could have found peace and calmness in what was destined to be a plane crash without knowing that I was a believer, and that I believed in Heaven, but even then, there was this real desperate sense of helplessness and doubt in myself. I felt disappointed in myself that I wasn’t more sure in that moment. I KNOW I am assured by God, but these minutes were fast and scary. It’s indescribable that I get a second chance at getting to know my God. NOBODY DESERVES LIFE, MUCH LESS A SECOND LIFE.”

Heaven is real and everyone should want to spend their eternity there. You can make the choice today by simply praying, “God in heaven. Thank you for loving me and for sending your Son, Jesus, to die for my sins. Forgive me for those sins and come into my life and my heart. I receive your gift of salvation with grateful praise. Thank you for your forgiveness, for saving my soul and for your gift of eternal life. May I live this life with your peace, purpose and priorities until I step into my eternity. In the name of Jesus, my Savior, Amen.”

God is good and able to save. Don’t live another moment of this life without the promise of heaven. Anna, Tammie Jo Shults and this blog writer want you to know the joy and assurance of your salvation today.