Why should we embrace grief?

John 11:35 is the shortest verse in the Bible and one of the most profound. Jesus was fully God, but he was also fully man. He felt what all of us feel, including grief. Why is grief something we often try to hide from others?

Sometimes, when I speak to someone who has recently lost a loved one, they apologize for their tears. I often say, “God created us with the ability to cry. Crying is one of the ways we can physically empty our grief.”

There is also nothing that draws our hearts’ attention to another person more quickly than their tears. God created us to need one another. We are supposed to love one another, and the price of loving someone is grieving with them and, one day, for them. Honest grief prompts honest compassion from our friends. They don’t just feel for us; they feel with us. That is the meaning of “com-passion.”

Jesus wept at the grave of Lazarus, his friend. There has been much speculation about why Jesus wept. Was Jesus sorry to pull his friend back from heaven? Was Jesus grieving Mary and Martha’s loss? Was Jesus sorry people didn’t understand the joy of dwelling in heaven?

We can focus on why Jesus wept, but maybe that isn’t why this passage exists. It is an extraordinary moment in Scripture. Jesus, the Son of God, wept. We can know that our Lord and Savior feels grief too. We can know that when Jesus took on flesh, he shared the grief we feel over the loss of someone we love.

Our culture wants us to move on or even past grief. Those who love us hurt when we hurt. Chances are, they don’t want you to hurt because they can’t help but share the pain themselves. Jesus didn’t stop Mary and Martha’s grief; he wept with them and for them.

After those moments of compassion, Jesus taught them the only eternal solution for grief. He raised Lazarus from the dead and grief was transformed to joy by his power.

We should embrace grief and feel grief because Jesus did. We should also do all we can to provide the only joy for grief. Christians can grieve with hope. It’s important to remember that Lazarus was raised from the dead but would one day die again. Mary and Martha would as well. We don’t have those stories in Scripture, but we have this one.

Jesus is the model for our own faith and the pathway for our eternal relationship with God. Scripture tells us, “Jesus wept.” Jesus modeled compassion when he embraced the grief of others and felt “with them.” And Jesus modeled the hope Christians can embrace as well. God created us to cry. There is a good reason, a God-reason, for our tears and a God-promise of hope and joy.