Wishing You an Un-Hallmark Mother’s Day

I reserve the right to gripe just a bit about Mother’s Day. Woodrow Wilson wasn’t thinking of preachers’ wives when he signed a bill making the second Sunday in May an official celebration of moms.

Sundays were always “work days” at our house. I never went to a Mother’s Day buffet that wasn’t picked over and depleted of the good stuff. I rarely received a Mother’s Day card that didn’t come with a soggy envelope that had been hastily “sealed” right before being handed to me.

I heard wonderful sermons extolling the value of a holiday for moms, but my husband, Jim, raced out the door early every Mother’s Day morning, preached three sermons, and then napped most Mother’s Day afternoons.

A statement of fact: preachers’ wives get the shaft on Mother’s Day.

Another statement of fact: most of us wouldn’t have it any other way.

Except maybe the whole “buffet” thing.

The untold un-Hallmark truth about Mother’s Day

Your preacher will probably talk about Anna Jarvis this Sunday. Mother’s Day was her idea. Anna’s mom had passed away, and Anna wanted to celebrate her mother’s life. So, Anna worked hard to establish a day that would celebrate moms.

But, did you know that Anna Jarvis quickly became disgusted by the way the florists, card companies, and restaurants turned the holiday into a commercial opportunity?

In fact, she eventually spent most of her personal wealth in legal fees trying to lobby the government to remove the Mother’s Day holiday from the American calendar.

Anna Jarvis never married, never had children, and died alone in a sanatorium. (I bet you won’t hear that in your Sunday sermon or read it in your Hallmark card!)

The un-Hallmark joy of Mother’s Day

About now, you’re probably worried about this blogger. Don’t be. I have solidly adjusted my expectations for the holiday. In fact, it happened the first Sunday after Ryan (my oldest) was born.

Jim left the house that Mother’s Day afternoon to get me a card. Picture the drugstore shelf at 2:30–3:00 on Mother’s Day afternoon.

Let’s just say I don’t have that card framed or taped inside a scrapbook somewhere.

This year I will celebrate Mother’s Day with my mom. She and I will drive out to our sweet chapel service at the lake. Jim is out of town this Sunday, so I will be speaking at the service for him. Both my boys will celebrate their wives this Sunday—after they come home from serving at their respective churches. This preacher’s wife will probably just eat leftovers with my mom before we drive back home.

But, I will come home, put my feet up, and know that my un-Hallmark Mother’s Day was exactly what it should be.

Sundays—even Mother’s Day Sundays—are about worshipping God, not moms.

I’m a blessed mom

My favorite Mother’s Day quote is from Jill Churchill: “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”

I’ve often said that parenting is the most difficult job I’ve ever loved. I’ve made some wrong choices as a mom, but I did teach my boys that worshipping and serving the Lord was the most important choice for Sundays.

I doubt I will ever have a Hallmark Mother’s Day. The president would have to change the holiday to every second “Saturday” of May. (I’m thinking that the card companies and florists have more money to lobby the government about that than I do.) I don’t want to be like Anna Jarvis and fight for something that doesn’t really matter anyway.

This Mother’s Day, my joy isn’t the result of anything that could be purchased in a store. My joy is knowing that my day will be quiet because all of my “guys” are busy doing what the Lord has called them to do this Sunday.

It’s always been that way, and I pray it will continue for every Mother’s Day Sunday of my life.

As for me and my house . . .

I grew up with those words, and I still stand on them.

Joshua was instructing the families of Israel to go to their land and establish their homes. One of the last things he said to them was, “Now therefore fear the Lord and serve him in sincerity and in faithfulness. Put away the gods that your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:14–15).

My greatest joy and blessing this Mother’s Day isn’t a gift, a card, or a bottle of perfume. (But, for my three guys, in case you are reading this, I like Amazing Grace by Philosophy.)

My great joy and blessing this Mother’s Day is that I have been married to a wonderful husband and father for almost thirty-nine years who loves the Lord and loves me. And I have two amazing sons who love their wives and children—and their mom.

My family knows this Sunday is about serving the Lord’s expectations instead of Hallmark’s.

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”—even on Mother’s Day.

I wish all you moms an un-Hallmark Mother’s Day this week.

But, I do hope you will enjoy a good buffet. If you’re not a pastor’s wife, you’ll probably get there early enough for the good stuff!

The Woulda Coulda Shoulda of Motherhood

A note from Janet: Today’s blog post is written by Cynthia Yanof. Cynthia and I work together for our ChristianParenting.org website. She is a great author, a godly woman and a fun friend. You will enjoy reading her thoughts for Mother’s Day. Enjoy!


Here we go! It’s almost Mother’s Day, and we are about to get a good dose of Mother’s Day bombast. I’m talking about the well-intentioned, Hallmark-style sentiments that sometimes can leave us feeling a touch inadequate.

A few examples:

“God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”(I can assure you that if God can’t get there, you best not rely on me to get there.)

“A mother’s love is the fuel that enables the normal human being to do the impossible.”(Weird, because I’m pretty sure my kids picking up their room is quite possible, yet my “fuel” seems to be failing.)

Here’s my favorite: “Mothers are like buttons. They hold everything together.” —Author Unknown

You know why this author is unknown? Because she doesn’t exist! Ain’t no mom out there feeling like she’s successfully holding everything together. And in the unlikely event there is such a mom, she doesn’t have one second to come up with quotes about buttons. And, by the way, after having a few kids, the buttons on our clothes are likely a bit taxed and barely holding things together anyway.

I’m guessing a man wrote it.

All kidding aside, being a mom is a great joy and privilege. Moms are significant, and we have a huge role to fill. But here’s the reality, from one mom to another: parenting is hard. Sometimes we are weighed down by this perceived standard of perfection, and I believe Satan (and maybe Hallmark) is all too happy to use the tactic of discouragement to make us feel like we’re not doing enough.

Whether you have kids at home you are still shepherding or your kids have left the nest and you are watching them maneuver through life, we all think about the what-ifs: if we could have done this, or would have considered that, or should have done whatever. We have to lose the woulda, coulda, and shouldas of parenting because that’s not the vernacular of faith-filled women who know that the Lord ultimately holds each of us—and our children—in his hands.

God never intended for us to be overwhelmed or to feel inadequate. A quick look at the moms of the Bible reminds us that God uses unique women, full of flaws, to fulfill his kingdom purpose in ways that go far beyond our abilities. Thank goodness!

So, where are you tempted to be discouraged on your motherhood journey?

  • Kids fight too much or aren’t as close as you hoped? Rebekah can relate.
  • Wondering if you waited too long to have kids and you’re out of touch? Sarah and Elizabeth hear you.
  • Made some bad choices in your past that you fear will hurt your kids? Bathsheba gets it.
  • Feeling too young and unqualified? Mary is right there with you.
  • Struggling with infertility? Hannah, Rebekah, and Rachel feel your pain.
  • Devastated after the loss of a child? Eve and Mary empathize.
  • Fear others may want to harm your children? Jochebed could talk for days.
  • Kids made bad choices and strayed from the Lord? Cue a whole lot of desert-wandering Israelites and their kids.

Yet, from these flawed moms (and, in most cases, flawed kids), we see God rise up kings (Solomon), prophets (Samuel and John the Baptist), patriarchs (Jacob and Isaac), leaders of God’s chosen people (Moses and Aaron), ancestors of Jesus (all of the above), and God’s very own Son, Jesus.

Moms, we can’t even fathom the great things the Lord can do when we are women who trust the truths of the Lord and hand our kids over to his plans. In this day and age of Pinterest, it’s very easy to feel like we aren’t doing enough if our kids aren’t eating organic, playing the cello, running 10Ks, and making the honor roll.

I love Jeremiah 6:16, where we are reminded to “stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it, and find rest for your souls.”

The ancient paths surely did not involve the need for perfectionism because that would never bring rest for your soul. Let yourself off the hook and let’s follow the lead of our Bible moms who didn’t have all the fanciness but still very effectively produced kids the Lord could use.

Love your kids, enjoy them, pray for and with them often, and be rooted in the fact that we are not ultimately responsible for who they become and the decisions they make. We are raising people with free will who were created by the Lord for his great purposes—not ours.

This Mother’s Day, give yourself a gift by shutting out the woulda, coulda, and shouldas of parenting that lead to discouragement. You may not be able to see at the moment how it’s going to play out, but neither did most of the great moms of the Bible. Point your kids to the Lord and let him handle the rest.

Happy Mother’s Day!