Kids, grandkids, and family

“So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord.” —Ephesians 2:19–21

Beyond Words is a book of devotionals by Frederick Buechner. My husband forwarded me an entry that was simply titled “Grandchildren.” We happened to be taking care of two of our grandkids that day, so Buechner’s words were especially meaningful. Even if you don’t have children or grandchildren, his thoughts give a powerful perspective for every relationship we invest time in this side of heaven.

The older I get, the more I define the word family as the souls that I will spend my eternity with. I adore my earthly family, and they are truly the most special people I know, but my heart also knows and loves others in this world as brothers and sisters.

Frederick Buechner’s website describes him as “an American writer and theologian. The author of thirty-nine published books, he has been and continues to be an important source of inspiration and learning for many readers, writers, preachers, and theologians.” I’ve quoted him quite often over the years because he is simply, profoundly brilliant. I think that is why his words about grandchildren were so meaningful. I wanted to share his thoughts with you. It’s a long quote, and it’s worth every minute it takes you to read and think about his words. He titled this entry: Grandchildren.

TO HAVE GRANDCHILDREN is not only to be given something but to be given something back.

You are given back something of your children’s childhood all those years ago. You are given back something of what it was like to be a young parent. You are given back something of your own childhood even, as on creaking knees you get down on the floor to play tiddlywinks, or sing about Old MacDonald and his farm, or watch Saturday morning cartoons till you’re cross-eyed.

It is not only your own genes that are part of your grandchildren but the genes of all sorts of people they never knew but who, through them, will play some part in times and places they never dreamed of. And of course along with your genes, they will also carry their memories of you into those times and places too—the afternoon you lay in the hammock with them watching the breezes blow, the face you made when one of them stuck out a tongue dyed Popsicle blue at you, the time you got a splinter out for one of them with the tweezers of your Swiss army knife. On some distant day they will hold grandchildren of their own with the same hands you once held them by as you searched the beach at low tide for Spanish gold.

In the meantime, they are the freshest and fairest you have. After you’re gone, it is mainly because of them that the earth will not be as if you never walked on it.

Our genetic family and our spiritual family

I loved Buechner’s concept of the unique genetic combination God has used to wire us into a certain family. If you are like me, your family history is a wide-ranging, eclectic group of traits, abilities, and characteristics. A doctor once told us that we should do everything we can to be strong and healthy, but, in the end, it is mostly about three things: genetics, genetics, and genetics.

According to our Bibles, each of us is “fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). The rest of that verse says, “Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” Our lives are the product of generations of genetics combined to make each of us the unique individuals we are today.

We can thank, or not thank, a grandparent for our noses. We can be grateful or not so grateful for our hair color, our height, or our tendency to tan or burn in the sun. We are born with behavioral tendencies, too. We are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” and all of us were made to know God as our Father, if we will just listen to the deep thoughts of our souls.

Our genetic family is actually a good example for our spiritual family as well. We have a family tree that can be traced, but we also have a spiritual genealogy. Both genealogies will be filled with a variety of people from diverse circumstances.

And God has carefully designed and planned both.

How did your life change earth?

I loved Buechner’s closing words: “After you’re gone, it is mainly because of them that the earth will not be as if you never walked on it.”

Who is your “them”? Who are the family members and the people that God brought into your life that will each change the world just a bit? Maybe you have invested in people who changed the world a LOT! I smile as I think about the two men who ran the bus ministry at College Park Baptist Church in Houston, Texas. The church is very different now than it was in the seventies, but my husband’s life was changed forever because the church bus picked him up at his apartment complex, and he and his brother rode it to church.

These two men just knew how to keep an old school bus up and running. They found their ministry, and they helped Jim find his. That same church helped me find Jim. We will soon celebrate our forty-sixth wedding anniversary. We have two sons who married two wonderful women. Our sons and their wives brought us a granddaughter and three grandsons. If the Lord tarries, we might someday hold the hands of their children. Some of the genetics of our great-grandparents will be seen in those children as well. Hopefully, some of our spiritual genetics will be passed on as well. A lot of amazing Christians have invested in our lives over the years.

All of our lives will impact the world in ways we will never see, especially through the people we call family. Those two men who drove the bus that day are an important part of our family forever. The people who have prayed for, loved, and encouraged us have a much greater influence in our lives than we probably know.

Whose lives are different today because you held their hands at some point? I want to spend as much time as possible with those people now so that I can spend all of eternity with them later. May Frederick Buechner’s wisdom cause all of us to view the people in our lives with God’s perspective. When Jesus instructed us to go and make disciples, he gave us our most important task on earth.

Whose life will you touch today?

Photo by Egor Myznik on Unsplash

If Indiana Jones preached a sermon

Jim and I took a little time off last Thursday morning to go see the new Indiana Jones movie. We both wanted to write about it, so we just called that morning “research” and enjoyed the time together.

We had only been married about a year when the first Indiana Jones movie came out. We thought it was amazing! We rushed to see the second movie but didn’t like it much. I think that second movie is actually responsible for the creation of the PG13 rating. The third Indiana Jones movie promised to be better—which it was—and actually was my favorite in the series. Needless to say, we were pretty excited to go to this last movie, decades later.

Jim wrote his article about the use of AI to “de-age” Harrison Ford’s face. My blog post has a different theme. The new movie was really well done and an interesting perspective on what matters most at the end of our lives. It isn’t a Christian movie by any means, but it is interesting how often the world’s messages contain biblical principles.

So, what if Indiana Jones were to preach a sermon at the end of his life? What points would he most want to make, as seen in the movie?

First point: Preserve and cherish important relationships.

We enjoyed seeing so many of the characters from previous movies written into the script of this last film. Indiana Jones’ friends remained true to who they were. He could count on those relationships decades later. I thought of the proverb that says, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity” (Proverbs 17:17). Most if not all of Indiana Jones’ friends were apparently “born for adversity.”

I’ve been privileged to know a lot of people throughout my life. I hope some of those relationships will be my great joy in the years ahead. Indiana Jones would tell us to invest in those people and honor them for their gift of friendship.

Who do you think about when you read those words?

Second point: Don’t give up on a relationship that has failed.

I won’t give away the movie, but suffice it to say that Indiana Jones comes to realize that no amount of work, adventure, or important treasure is more important than a broken relationship.

Modern thinking is that we shouldn’t spend time with people who don’t “add” to our sense of well-being or who don’t bring “positive energy” into our lives. That is a worldly point of view.

Do you have a relationship that needs to be worked on or even restored? Is there someone you just don’t want to care about anymore? Jesus told Peter he needed to forgive a person more than seven times, the customary number in Jewish law: “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times” (Matthew 18:22). Jesus wasn’t teaching a literal number but a high standard of spiritual truth. We don’t give up on our brothers and sisters in Christ. We keep working to restore the relationship.

Another proverb reminds us why God wants us to keep working on our relationships, even the difficult ones: “Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17). That proverb is powerful truth for all those relationships that can “hurt” at times. God allows them for a reason. The truth of that proverb will be understood best in heaven when obedience is rewarded. Some of our eternal rewards will be the result of following the teaching of Christ even when it was tough to do so.

How would that difficult relationship change if we stopped to consider that God may have allowed it into our lives for the sake of our eternal inheritance as well as our earthly witness?

Third point: Life isn’t supposed to be effortless; it is supposed to be lived with an effort to honor God.

In this last movie, Indiana Jones has gone from being the professor the girls swooned over to an aged professor whose class is boring to most of his students. The focus of his life was chasing archeological treasures, and he had acquired many artifacts. In this final movie, his greatest treasures are something very different.

My husband delivered the message last Saturday at the funeral of a very important man who understood how to use his life for the things God thought important. He stood for biblical principles even when taking that stand would cost him a position of high status. He stood for biblical integrity even when that stand was unpopular.

During the service 2 Corinthians 4:7–9 was read and preached because these verses represented this man’s earthly journey. Those verses say, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed.”

If Indiana Jones could preach, he would confess his life had been a race to acquire antiquities rather than focusing his efforts on maintaining things that matter most. It took him a lifetime to learn what Paul taught the Corinthians. Our earthly lives, and all we achieve, are stored here in jars of clay.

Indiana Jones lived with some good values but lacked the most important measure of success. The point of our lives is to point others to God, “to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us.”

Most sermons end with a good illustration.

I’ll close with these words. My husband often says, “Great men plant trees they will never sit under.” The man we celebrated last Saturday at his memorial service planted forests of trees. He touched thousands of lives and pointed them toward the important goal of serving God for his sake rather than our own. His “jar of clay” finally broke, releasing his soul to heaven, where he is now enjoying the people he knew and loved on earth. His treasure is those eternal rewards he stored safely in heaven.

A lot of people came to honor this man, but we also came to honor his God.

I thought the new Indiana Jones movie was a good one. As the book of Job teaches, “Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days” (Job 12:12). The acclaimed writers and producers of this famous movie franchise have aged, and this last movie revealed some wisdom learned. I wanted to point their wisdom from this movie script to the Source of wisdom. We have a great God and his truth is eternal.

What sermon will each of our lives preach? God could use a few more “Indiana Jones” sermons delivered by people brave enough to speak biblical truth in spite of the certain consequences that will follow. Preaching isn’t supposed to be effortless; strong preaching will always draw some persecution, affliction, and occasional despair.

But at the end of our lives, if our message pointed people to God, it was worth all the effort.

How do I teach God’s word?

What is a teacher’s role?

“I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always in every prayer of mine for you all making my prayer with joy, because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now. And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.” Philippians 1:3-6

When we teach the Bible, we are partnering with all the saints of the gospels across the ages in communicating the words the Lord left us to study and know so that we could know him and make him known.

See yourself as a partner with other saints in the past.

Who is in your classroom or small group?

Think about why your Bible study group or class comes to see you each week.

Do they need nurturing?
Where are they in their knowledge of the Lord?
How do you teach those who are seasoned students of the Bible as well as those who sit quietly, still trying to determine if Christianity is right for them?

It is crucial that you create a lesson that works for everyone.

What is the central purpose of Bible study?

As a teacher it’s your job to focus on the central reason people are there — to study God’s word, but never lose sight of the other reasons people come to the room.

Understand your lesson might be the only Bible study some people in your class experience that week. Know their faces and names, making sure you provide them a lesson from God’s perfect word.

God has a plan for you every time you teach. When we teach God’s word, God accomplishes his purpose through us.

“…so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11

The key is in knowing what God’s purpose is for the day. Make it your goal every time you teach to remember that you have a high and holy calling. You are partnering with the saints from the past in teaching his word. His word is what matters; ours are secondary.

“Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth.” John 17:17

God’s word stands forever, God’s word is truth, and God’s word never returns void. It has a purpose that God wants to accomplish through his Holy Spirit.

Called and Equipped

Teachers are simply humans with a high calling.

“Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.” James 3:1-2

A person should be called to teach God’s word and gifted by the Holy Spirit to accomplish the task.
If we teach God’s word, we are held to a higher level of responsibility for how we live our lives.
Remember though, to give yourself grace. No one is perfect and no one will ever teach a perfect lesson. But trust that anything God teaches through you is perfected.

Mountaintop moments

I spent a week in the mountains with my whole family and rarely watched the news, looked at Facebook, or thought about the world’s events. I was too busy watching my grandkids laugh and play with one another. There were a lot of things to do, see, and experience in the mountains.

A week later, it was time to come down from the mountain and get back to work.

I knew my first job was to write a blog post for the week, and this one began to write itself on the way home.

One week later

It seemed almost shocking to watch the evening news the night I arrived back home. COVID was the first news segment because our hospitals are filling up again. The politicians are making a stand and hoping to get it right. The problem is, everyone is right and wrong in different ways.

How do we make choices when right and wrong blend together?

People who didn’t get a vaccine are losing their jobs, privileges, and freedoms. People who did get a vaccine are losing their immunity, their freedoms, and their sense of safety. People who have had COVID have the most immunity but still need to get a vaccine anyway?

Whom do we blame for the spread of a virus? How does a country founded on freedoms limit freedom? How do we replace rhetoric with resolutions?

We recognize the realities and the fact that God is still on his throne, and always has been.

The mountaintop moments

I loved our week of vacation with our family. It was sweet chaos. It was a change of pace for all of us and a reminder of why God created the concept of family in the beginning. We are supposed to belong to other people in a unique bond of love. The Lord created us to need and enjoy the gift of family.

I got home, unpacked, and settled into my normal routine. I worked on emails, checked on Facebook, and turned on the evening news. The mountaintop felt far away from the “real world.” It is tough to keep a mountaintop perspective when you head home.

Part of me wishes I could just live “separate” from the evening news. Someday I will. For now, God has called us to have mountaintop moments but live “in the world.”

A new perspective that isn’t new

I was driving home when I began to think about writing this blog post. I drove through small towns and big cities. I drove past estates, homes, apartments, and trailers. I drove past people who had everything they owned in a backpack or shopping cart. I drove past people in masks and people without them. I drove past prosperity, poverty, and everything in between.

I watched the evening news and heard different opinions but few facts. I wished for the mountaintop but was glad to be home. I missed the chaos but appreciated the quiet. And I realized that the trip had given me a new perspective that isn’t new.

This world will always be “mixed up.” Truth isn’t found on the evening news because that isn’t where truth is valued—or defined.

If you completed last week’s homework assignment, reading all of Psalm 119, you read, “Your righteousness is righteous forever, and your law is true” (Psalm 119:142). You also read, “Forever, O Lᴏʀᴅ, your word is firmly fixed in the heavens” (Psalm 119:89).

When will our culture put itself back together? The answer to that question is made clear in Scripture.

We will calm down, heal, be kinder, and be better when we live according to God’s righteous laws. That has always been true, and it always will be true.

What is the new perspective that isn’t new? The culture is not going to walk with God’s values. God’s people are called to do that. Some in the culture will eventually follow what “works,” but most will not. Jesus said, “For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few” (Matthew 7:14).

Biblically, we shouldn’t hope for something that God has told us will never be true. Biblically, it is God’s people who prove his reality, not the world.

Our family of faith

One of the sweetest memories I have of our trip to the mountains was listening to my seven-year-old granddaughter talk about God with her brother and cousins. I’m so grateful that my sons and their wives want their children to be faithful and are raising them with God’s word as truth.

I love that my family has chosen to be faithful. I hope and pray that all of them will continue to make biblical choices for the rest of their lives.

But, it is important to remember that Jesus didn’t say everyone in the world is our family. Our brothers and sisters are the people who share our faith and our future in heaven. Every Christian has a BIG family, and our Father would like for it to continue to grow even larger.

Make your dad proud

We had a great week in the mountains with our “family.” It is a sweet joy to see my grown sons and their wives parent their kids. There were several times I thought, “My cup runneth over,” even as my grandkids were “running over” each other! It was sweet chaos, and I’m grateful we had that time together. We are proud of our family. The Lord has a similar perspective on his kids. He has always seen us as his family. We are dearly loved and cared about.

Night is coming

Our kids put their kids to bed each night while Jim and I picked up the toys, swept the crumbs, and straightened the chairs. We wanted it to be ready for everyone when morning came.

When the world seems chaotic, remember that Scripture promised “the night is coming” (John 9:4). It’s time to get ready for whatever the next day will bring. There will always be chaos and things that need to be cleaned up and straightened out. That is the world we live in. The Christian’s job is to work hard to keep this messy world a little cleaner. Our “joy comes with the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

Family is my great joy. One day the morning will come and one day I will live forever on the mountaintop with the Lord, surrounded with all of you who are family too. The chaos in the world is real, but God’s peace and love are real as well.

One day our mountaintop moments will last forever.

Tired joy

The kids pulled out of the driveway, headed for home after a great Memorial Day weekend. Our oldest son, Ryan, and his family were with us at the lake for the holiday. There was hiking, swimming, water-gun fights, chasing butterflies, gathering wildflowers, playing at the playground, and even a few fireworks to end the day.

We ate BBQ, hotdogs, pancakes, and watermelon and made ice-cream sundaes. The kids drove the golf cart, or at least thought they were driving it, all weekend. And, I killed a snake—but that’s a whole different blog post.

Now, our little house is decorated with sticky handprints that I’m happy to look at for a couple of days. The dishwasher, washing machine, and dryer are hard at work while I type this blog post to you all.

My favorite kind of joy

I took some time to read my youngest son’s First15 devotion before I began to type. His words gave me the thoughts I wanted to share with you all today.

In Monday’s devotional, he wrote: “You and I were not created solely for this world. Our home is with our heavenly Father in heaven. Unceasing joy comes from living with the perspective of God rather than the world. Rejoicing comes from trusting that our God is perfectly loving, perfectly real, and perfectly powerful.”

Note to my readers: If you don’t read Craig’s First15 devotionals, you should. He is my son. He does work for our ministry. I am unabashedly proud of both my boys and impossibly biased, so don’t take my word for it; you will find plenty of others who share my opinion. It is GOOD reading and an excellent way to start your day!

I read Craig’s devotion about the unceasing, unshakeable joy that God’s presence provides and I knew what I wanted to write about: tired joy. Tired joy is how I define the weary contentment I feel after finishing a wonderful and busy time doing something I love. It is my favorite kind of tired.

My favorite kind of joy is the tired joy I feel when I spend time with busy, happy, hungry kids and grandkids and then enjoy the quiet calm of time alone after they are gone. Tired joy is a great joy.

It’s the tired we feel after:

A busy holiday weekend with family and friends you love.
A mission trip or time of service with people the Lord has called you to love.
Completing a project or job that has taken a lot of hours to accomplish.

I’m sure you can think of other examples of tired joy—we all have them.

When Jesus was weary

Matthew 14 describes Jesus sitting in a quiet place on the mountain when his disciples came looking for him. Jesus had just performed many miracles, including the feeding of the five thousand, even though he was grieving the death of his cousin, John the Baptist.

Jesus was weary in body and soul and needed to retreat and pray. The crowds were increasing and so were their expectations. John 6:15 says, “Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself.” When the disciples found him, Jesus sent them ahead and, later, in the middle of the night, walked on water to join them.

I think Jesus understood tired joy.

He was fulfilling the call that he had chosen for his life. He was succeeding, and people were beginning to understand he was their Messiah. But, Jesus was fully human as well as fully God. He chose to understand all the feelings that you and I feel. Jesus chose to feel tired joy. It is a choice for us as well.

Where unceasing joy begins

I hope you had a special Memorial Day weekend. I hope your week is filled with moments you will enjoy. But, for all of us, it is good to plan for the tired joy that comes as a result of spending time enjoying and serving people we love and people we are called to love.

Craig also wrote, “Unceasing joy comes from living with the perspective of God rather than the world.” I love that thought, and I love the one who wrote it. I smile at the many hours of my life that he and his brother provided me with tired joy at the end of a day. I share God’s perspective: we adore our kids.

Tired joy is one of my favorite joys in this life. We have so many ways to serve God and others. Rest is simply for the time in between. I wish you a busy, productive, and blessed week. I wish you tired joy.